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50 Shades of Grey – The Irish Version

I don’t know what all the hype is about with this 50 shades of grey book but I got an email with the 50 Shades of Grey book Irish Style, which is basically a parody of the 50 Shades of Gray book – pretty crude but very funny.

I don’t know where the source is for this but well done to who ever created these 50 shades Irish Style…

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY, IRISH STYLE……..

… “Give it to me, give it to me”, he roared aggressively. Some days Mary hated working at Ulster Bank.

He slipped his hand under the red silk.. “You’re so beautiful in that dress.” he said — “Fuck off, it was only a euro in Penneys!” she replied

Bernies knees were sore and her throat was raw …. This was the longest Novena sheíd ever attended.

“You’re so tight”, he said, I’m from Cavan she replied.

Slowly he ran his finger down the middle, parting the pink softness, feeling the moist sticky centre. He loved a Mikado.

“She Quivered as I stroked her thighs. Take me in the shower Sean!” – I whispered to her “Wait til I turn on the immersion”.

Her underwear was wet as he pulled the rope. There’s great drying out today she thought as the clothes line hoisted

‘Its so long! Never seen the likes of it!’ exclaimed Mary, as she joined the dole queue

She widened her mouth, trying to fit it all in!! The Juices ran down her face. Mary did love a kebab after coppers

Sharon was panting as she let out one final scream of pure pleasure. There was nothing like beating Kilkenny in the hurling

She took a deep breath as the shivers rolled down her hot body… Jaysus, she thought. The Vicks is kicking in now!

Come on! Pump it hard.. Real hard! But it was no use the tyre was definitely punctured!

He asked if she could handle more than one finger. She said “No, I prefer a Hob Nob or a purple Snack with me tea!!”

Guns N’ Roses forced Off Stage At Dublins O2 Arena

I was at the Guns N’ Roses concert at the O2 in Dublin, and I was appalled at the behaviour of so called fans when Guns N’ Roses eventually took to the stage at around 10:30pm. The support act were late finishing and for 1h 30 minutes there was a gap. For the most part it was good humoured with a few Mexican Waves, cheers and so forth. However once it came near 10:15pm booos started to ring out. The band took to the stage at 10:30 to a tirade of boos and jeers. Then bottles and cups full of liquid started hitting the stage and for Axl all hell was breaking loose. This Guns N’ Roses Riot was in my view the result of people drinking and not appreciating the music.

For a performer, being on stage, with the lights in your face, you may not see very much – so if a bottle or cup full of beer is thrown you have no way of avoiding it. I think that sort of behaviour from “Fans” was uncalled for. Axl asked for people to stop and said that he would walk if it happened again … only minutes later this is exactly what happened and I don’t blame him. No performer should be attacked in this way.

The start to the show was spectacular, fireworks, pyros, huge intro so it wasn’t a half-baked or poor performace. There was no need for the jeering or throwing. Many people left when the house lights came back up, thinking it was all over. I asked an O2 steward and was told ” There is no chance of him coming back on “. Apparently the promoter, MCD, restrained Axl and prevented him from leaving the venue after walking off stage. The promoters did come on stage twice to ask for calm and patience while technical difficulties were looked at.

Guns N’ Roses Riot – Alx goes off stage

I left the O2 once the house lights came back on, and 20 minutes later I got a phone call from my sister (Thanks Elaine) letting me know that the concert was back on. We went back and the atmosphere was less hostile but still not right. Axl was back mid-stage to avoid any missiles, almost at the drum kit. He just stood at the mic and sung, breaking once or twice to play the piano – November Rain was excellent. The band itself were excellent and it good humour despite what happened.

They played until just before 1am to a creshendo of tickertape and pyros.

I think the organisers should have had the stage better perpared, as they seemed to be doing sound checks, stage clearance, wiring and so on for about an hour. Also, having people drinking for 4 hours before Guns N’ Roses appeared on stage was not a good idea. Although Guns N’ Roses have a history of problems and late shows, you know this about the band and its not a reason to run riot and physically attack an artist.

Guns N’ Roses released a statement after the concert which read: “Despite every effort being made by promoters to ensure Guns N’ Roses would go on stage on time, they went on at 22:26hrs having been due to be on stage at 21:45hrs, support artist finished at 21:00hrs.

“During the second song Axl requested members of crowd who were throwing plastic glasses containing unknown substances to immediately stop or he would have no option but to leave the stage. He confirmed band’s wish to perform stating “we want to stay…one more bottle and we go home”. Despite his continued appeals, having tried to continue performing for 22 minutes, people continued throwing unknown substances leaving artist with no choice but to leave the stage.

“From the stage MCD Promoter Denis Desmond again appealed to audience to refrain from throwing items and stated that the band would be back on stage shortly.

“The artist was prevented from leaving the venue by the Promoter and following backstage discussions Guns N’ Roses went back on stage at 23:20 hrs and performed their full set until 00:53 hrs.

“While the artist has a long history for being late on stage (Slane 1992 – crowd waiting 2 hours and last weekend’s UK Reading festival), NO artist should be subjected to missiles and unknown substances being thrown at them. However, despite this the band went back on stage after people stopped throwing items performing their full set of songs in full.

“MCD and The 02 wish to apologise for any inconvenience caused due to late running of the show.”

Video – Guns n’ Roses at the O2

World Cup Organisers will hopefully ban VuVuZelas (Vous Vous Zella)

If you have watched any of the matches in the world cup then you will have heard the annoying dull drone of the VuVuZelas (or Vous Vous Zella as I have seen them being spelled online). Pressure is now growing on the World Cup organisers to ban the use of vuvuzelas following many complaints from top players, TV broadcasters and world cup fans. This dreadful VuVu Zelas plastic horn is spoiling the tournament on TV and I am now turning down the volume on the TV as the noise from the VuVuZelas grates on your ears after a while.

The vuvuzelas or VuVuZelas are extremely popular among South African fans, and many teams were warned about the effect of the VuVuZelas on the pitch. Many broadcasters have complained that commentary cannot be heard. France even had the nerve that the vuvuzela was a factor in their poor display in their goalless draw with Uruguay. (not because they played bad or were unable to cheat or handball).

But South Africa call the vuvuzela their “12th man that we need … our weapon”.

If the vuvuzela is not banned coult the psychological influence and noise distraction help then through to the latter stages of the competition?


 

 


 

YouTube Video – The Best Cat Video you will Ever See !

YouTube Video – The Best Cat Video you will Ever See !

If you like cats and you think cats are funny, then you will love this YouTube video. This is , according to the creators, The Best Cat Video Ever. It is basically a collection of funny videos all starring cats – we could probably lose the presenter though! The Video is titled “THE BEST CAT VIDEO YOU’LL EVER SEE”. I think number 5 and number 7 are my favourite.

Goal-line technology ruled out just as Birmingham Need it

The IFAB and FIFA, Football’s rule-makers, have voted against goal line technology being used in soccer and effectively ended any chances of goal-line video replays coming into the game of soccer. This comes only hours before the Portsmouth v Birmingham FA Cup game, where Birmingham scored a perfectly valid headed goal from a corner. The ball was over the line but David James’s hand scooped it out of the net before the linesman saw it. Goal Line Technology would have proved that this was a goal but the decision from the International Football Association Board (IFAB) meeting in Zurich voted against continuing any further experiments with goal-line technology although the English FA and Scottish FA both voted in favour of the technology being used. FIFA general secretary Jerome Valcke said, “‘The door is closed. The decision was not to go ahead with technology at all.” The IFAB will decide in May whether to pursue the system of having an extra two officials behind each goal-line. It seems FIFA are extremely backward – just as the game needs to move with the times, any efforts to do so are rejected by an organisation who seem not to care about fairness, i.e. a ball that crosses the line is a goal, but only if the officials see it … and … a ball the touches the hand of a player is a free kick and possibly a card, but only if the officials see it (and if the player is not French as FIFA is mainly made up of French personnel). If you think Goal Line Technology is just for “is the ball over the line” type arguements, have a look at the video below, where the ball actually goes into the goal and the ref still did not see it!! The video is of Clive Allen hitting the stachion back in 1980, and Freddie Sears’ non-goal against Bristol City thirty years later.

Who Remembers 2 & 2 bars?

Who Remembers 2 & 2 bars?

Do you Remember a Chocolate called Two and Two Bars / 2 & 2 bars ?

I found a photo on the internet of a long lost memory … a chocolate bar called, 2 and 2 bar or Two and Two bar (I can’t remember which was more correct). It was (as far as I remember) dark chocolate bar with different fillings, fudge, coffee, etc and they were all mixed, so you never knew what you would get at each section of the bar. The funny thing is, that as a child, I was totally addicted to these 2 & 2 bars. Everytime I went into a shop, I wanted one. Do you remember 2&2 Bars? Do you recall the filling of these chocolate bars?

2 and 2 Bar - One of my favourite chocolate bars when I was young!

Two and Two Bar – One of my favourite chocolate bars when I was young!

The Two and Two bars were made by Cleeves as far as I recall, who also made the famous Cleeves Toffee bars. Now I have found that there might be a chance that these bars might make a come back. The following link perhaps hints that the famed and much loved Two and Two bar might make a come back (click the linked area for details)

But I recall that in the very early 80’s, these Two and Two chocolate bars disappeared, never to be seen again.

In the same way that Wispa made a come back – I wonder is there any hope that one day the Two and Two bar will one day grace a sweet shop shelf?