I don’t know what all the hype is about with this 50 shades of grey book but I got an email with the 50 Shades of Grey book Irish Style, which is basically a parody of the 50 Shades of Gray book – pretty crude but very funny.
I don’t know where the source is for this but well done to who ever created these…
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY, IRISH STYLE……..
… “Give it to me, give it to me”, he roared aggressively. Some days Mary hated working at Ulster Bank.
He slipped his hand under the red silk.. “You’re so beautiful in that dress.” he said — “Fuck off, it was only a euro in Penneys!” she replied
Bernies knees were sore and her throat was raw …. This was the longest Novena sheíd ever attended.
“You’re so tight”, he said, I’m from Cavan she replied.
Slowly he ran his finger down the middle, parting the pink softness, feeling the moist sticky centre. He loved a Mikado.
“She Quivered as I stroked her thighs. Take me in the shower Sean!” – I whispered to her “Wait til I turn on the immersion”.
Her underwear was wet as he pulled the rope. There’s great drying out today she thought as the clothes line hoisted
‘Its so long! Never seen the likes of it!’ exclaimed Mary, as she joined the dole queue
She widened her mouth, trying to fit it all in!! The Juices ran down her face. Mary did love a kebab after coppers
Sharon was panting as she let out one final scream of pure pleasure. There was nothing like beating Kilkenny in the hurling
She took a deep breath as the shivers rolled down her hot body… Jaysus, she thought. The Vicks is kicking in now!
Come on! Pump it hard.. Real hard! But it was no use the tyre was definitely punctured!
He asked if she could handle more than one finger. She said “No, I prefer a Hob Nob or a purple Snack with me tea!!”
Bad driving in Ireland is still a problem, despite penalty points being increased and the number of offences being also added to on a yearly basis.
In the past week I have observed numerous instances of stupid driving behaviour which, if there was a police presence in the area, would have been allocated penalty points.
I see this every day, mostly it’s just 10-15 MPH above the limit, nobody seems to bat a eyelid. Even when you are going the correct speed, those behind you seem to think that the 60mph limit does not apply to them and therefore proceed to flash lights to get you to move in. Lack of enforcement is the issue here and although the speed vans are around, this I feel is not as much of a deterrent as the UK model – i.e. hundreds of static speed cameras plus police enforcement.
Only last week I saw a guy pass me doing about 160 kmh on the M9 and luckily for those on the road the Garda car spotted him at Mullinavat and eventually stopped him when he reached the M9 junction at Waterford.
I can’t believe how often I have seen this during the week, people driving down the road and then deciding to put-on seat belts while the car is moving. If you look out for this you will be alarmed at how often people are doing this.
Mobile Phone Usage while Driving
Again another one which should be enforced better, I see this all the time, commercial vehicles, taxis, and private car owners, driving and using a mobile phone. I even saw a guy at the M9 Knocktopher junction driving at 120 kmh using an iPad on the steering wheel. Should there be an offense for using a tablet (not technically a mobile phone) while driving?
Anyway, this madness continues despite Operation Slow Down which started on Friday – during which I saw no police enforcement during a 100km drive on Friday, maybe they were elsewhere.
Until Irish drivers get some cop-on our detail toll on the roads will continue to be in the news.