50 Shades of Grey – The Irish Version

I don’t know what all the hype is about with this 50 shades of grey book but I got an email with the 50 Shades of Grey book Irish Style, which is basically a parody of the 50 Shades of Gray book – pretty crude but very funny.

I don’t know where the source is for this but well done to who ever created these…

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY, IRISH STYLE……..

… “Give it to me, give it to me”, he roared aggressively. Some days Mary hated working at Ulster Bank.

He slipped his hand under the red silk.. “You’re so beautiful in that dress.” he said — “Fuck off, it was only a euro in Penneys!” she replied

Bernies knees were sore and her throat was raw …. This was the longest Novena sheíd ever attended.

“You’re so tight”, he said, I’m from Cavan she replied.

Slowly he ran his finger down the middle, parting the pink softness, feeling the moist sticky centre. He loved a Mikado.

“She Quivered as I stroked her thighs. Take me in the shower Sean!” – I whispered to her “Wait til I turn on the immersion”.

Her underwear was wet as he pulled the rope. There’s great drying out today she thought as the clothes line hoisted

‘Its so long! Never seen the likes of it!’ exclaimed Mary, as she joined the dole queue

She widened her mouth, trying to fit it all in!! The Juices ran down her face. Mary did love a kebab after coppers

Sharon was panting as she let out one final scream of pure pleasure. There was nothing like beating Kilkenny in the hurling

She took a deep breath as the shivers rolled down her hot body… Jaysus, she thought. The Vicks is kicking in now!

Come on! Pump it hard.. Real hard! But it was no use the tyre was definitely punctured!

He asked if she could handle more than one finger. She said “No, I prefer a Hob Nob or a purple Snack with me tea!!”

Goalkeeper Saves Penalty, Celebrates but ball rolls in (Video)

This is a great video of a goalkeeper who saves a penalty and starts to celebrate the penalty save. The goalkeeper saved the ball but the spin on the ball means that the ball continues to roll into the net while the keeper continues to celebrate – kissing his badge, even though the stadium is almost empty.

This too place September 10th, between Maghreb Fez and FAR Rabat in a decider for the quarter-finals of Morocco’s Coupe du Trone. The penalty shootout decide the winner and it was during this penalty shootout, FAR goalkeeper Khalid Askri thought he saved an important penalty and immediately began to celebrate his save. He turns his back on the goal, patting his chest and kissing his badge … what he didn’t notice is that the ball had some lots of spin on it and actually bounced and rolled back into the goal after his initial block. The referee nods and awards the goal and Askri’s team ended up losing the shootout 7-6.

A very funny sporting blooper which is sure to end up on some sports bloopers DVD for Christmas…

Henry Shefflin talks about the first 15 minutes of a game

Henry Shefflin talks about the first 15 minutes of a game

Will Lucozade Sport create a new advert where “Henry Shefflin talks about the first 15 minutes of a game”?

Lucozade Sport - Henry Shefflin first 15 minutes

Following Tipperarys drumming of Kilkenny there are plent of other jokes including this prayer…

Our father who art in Semple,
Sheedy be thy name,
thy Liam will come,
goals will come from Eoin Noel and Larry,
give us this day to stop a 5 in a row and forgive us our square ball,
as we block those who trespass against us,
but deliver us from the cockey Cats,
for Tipperary is the kingdom,
where Liam belongs forever and ever Amen

Guns N’ Roses forced Off Stage At Dublins O2 Arena

I was at the Guns N’ Roses concert at the O2 in Dublin, and I was appauled at the behaviour of so called fans when Guns N’ Roses eventually took to the stage at around 10:30pm. The support act were late finishing and for 1h 30 minutes there was a gap. For the most part it was good humoureed with a few Mexican Waves, cheers and so forth. However once it came near 10:15pm booos started to ring out.
The band took to the stage at 10:30 to a tirade of boos and jeers. Then bottles and cups full of liquid started hitting the stage and for Axl all hell was breaking loose.

For a performer, being on stage, with the lights in your face, you may not see very much – so if a bottle or cup full of beer is thrown you have no way of avoiding it. I think that sort of behaviour from “Fans” was uncalled for. Axl asked for people to stop and said that he would walk if it happened again … only minutes later this is exactly what happened and I don’t blame him. No performer should be attacked in this way.

The start to the show was spectacular, fireworks, pyros, huge intro so it wasn’t a half-baked or poor performace. There was no need for the jeering or throwing. Many people left when the house lights came back up, thinking it was all over. I asked an O2 steward and was told ” There is no chance of him coming back on “. Apparently the promoter, MCD, restrained Axl and prevented him from leaving the venue after walking off stage. The promoters did come on stage twice to ask for calm and patience while technical difficulties were looked at.

I left the O2 once the house lights came back on, and 20 minutes later I got a phone call from my sister (Thanks Elaine) letting me know that the concert was back on. We went back and the atmosphere was less hostile but still not right. Axl was back mid-stage to avoid any missiles, almost at the drum kit. He just stood at the mic and sung, breaking once or twice to play the piano – November Rain was excellent. The band itself were excellent and it good humour despite what happened.

They played until just before 1am to a creshendo of tickertape and pyros.

I think the organisers should have had the stage better perpared, as they seemed to be doing sound checks, stage clearance, wiring and so on for about an hour. Also, having people drinking for 4 hours before Guns N’ Roses appeared on stage was not a good idea. Although Guns N’ Roses have a history of problems and late shows, you know this about the band and its not a reason to run riot and physically attack an artist.

Guns N’ Roses released a statement after the concert which read: “Despite every effort being made by promoters to ensure Guns N’ Roses would go on stage on time, they went on at 22:26hrs having been due to be on stage at 21:45hrs, support artist finished at 21:00hrs.

“During the second song Axl requested members of crowd who were throwing plastic glasses containing unknown substances to immediately stop or he would have no option but to leave the stage. He confirmed band’s wish to perform stating “we want to stay…one more bottle and we go home”. Despite his continued appeals, having tried to continue performing for 22 minutes, people continued throwing unknown substances leaving artist with no choice but to leave the stage.

“From the stage MCD Promoter Denis Desmond again appealed to audience to refrain from throwing items and stated that the band would be back on stage shortly.

“The artist was prevented from leaving the venue by the Promoter and following backstage discussions Guns N’ Roses went back on stage at 23:20 hrs and performed their full set until 00:53 hrs.

“While the artist has a long history for being late on stage (Slane 1992 – crowd waiting 2 hours and last weekend’s UK Reading festival), NO artist should be subjected to missiles and unknown substances being thrown at them. However, despite this the band went back on stage after people stopped throwing items performing their full set of songs in full.

“MCD and The 02 wish to apologise for any inconvenience caused due to late running of the show.”

Video – Guns n’ Roses at the O2

Spain v Holland – Score Predictions for World Cup Final

With the final game of the World Cup taking place tomorrow, trying to predict who will win is a lot easier thanks to the psychic octopus, Paul the Octopus who has said that Spain will win tomorrow in the World Cup Final.

I think the game will be a very tight affair but unless Holland can strike early, Spain should come out as winners.

So I think there will be 2 scenarios, Holland score in the first 20 minutes, then put 11 men behind the ball for 70 minutes (unlikely since Holland like to play total football) …. Spain could draw the match and it would go to extra time.

or

It remains 0-0 until about 65 minutes, Spain score, Holland then have to attack and leave themselves  open and Spain score again … so either 1-1 after 90 mins or 2-0 to Spain.

Score Prediction for Uruguay – Holland and Spain – Germany

Wednesday Update

You can see yesterdays post below! Holland did win but not to the score I predicted.

Spain v Germany Score Predictions

I still think Germany will win, however, Paul the Octopus has predicted a Spain win and I did have a dream last night that Spain won 2-0 … so not sure what you would make of that! I would like to see Germany win , possibly 3-1 with Ozil as the first scorer – thats my bet of the day… a long shot I know but did anyone think before the world cup that New Zealand would finish above Italy, and that France would fail to qualify from the group stages?

Original Post

As we get down to the last 4, I think these are easier to call, personally I think Holland & Germany will progress.

I’ll keep it short… my predictions for today are;

Uruguay – Holland : Holland to Win 2-0 (Van Persie with both)
Odds : 6-1 for a Holland 2-0 win if you are putting on a bet

Spain – Germany : Germay to Win 3-1 (This might even be 4-1 as the boss for Germany will be wearing his lucky blue jumper which he hasn’t washed as he thinks its lucky!)

Germany to win 4-1 is 80-1 which is not as long a shot as you might think!

Breaking News – Tuesday 6th July
German “psychic” Octopus, Paul the Octopus (or Paul der Octopus as he is known in Germany), has chosen Spain to beat Germany in tomorrow’s World Cup semi final – Spain v Germany.